Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Envy and luck

I've always envied you. Everything you've been blessed was everything I've ever wanted for myself, but was not fated to have. Your picture-perfect family, your comfortable life, your effortless popularity, your high self esteem and most of all, your happiness. Life never really dealt you with a hard blow, and I guess that makes me bitter in some weird, twisted way. "Some people are so broken they get mad at you for being whole." Sometimes I can't help but feel a twinge of envy because I know that my life has never been and will never be as easy as yours.

But today I realized a different truth. I've never had some of the wonderful things you have, but I have the best lover any girl could ask for. I have someone who never leaves when things get tough, someone who never, not even once, let me go to bed upset. Someone who gives me endless support, laughter and love. Someone who deals with my tantrums with gentleness and understanding. Someone who never stops trying. Someone who keeps his promises. Someone who loves me.

You see, I am actually the lucky one. I have a beautiful boy who proves time and time again that he loves me with all his heart, and all you have is a broken, flawed girl who doesn't even have enough for herself, let alone for you.

I am so lucky.